Fear. It is the dominant emotion of our life. It is the
primary driver for our decision-making, the basis for our reactive actions in
response to life’s circumstances. While love is our aspiration and can serve as
our defense against our fears, fear and love exist in a synchronized dance with
each other, rising and falling like playmates on a playground see-saw. One is
in ascendance while the other is in decendance, reversing from moment to
moment, event to event.
We fear tangible things we can see: a wild animal, a gun in
the hand of a stranger, a venomous insect. We fear intangible phobias to which we
give pseudo-substance: fear of germs, of heights, of confined spaces. We fear
mental constructs that upset our sense of being: the loss of a job, being
socially unaccepted, our lack of status. Fear of inflicted physical pain –
indeed loss of life itself – creates mental pain; mental pain can create
physical pain. Mind and body each feeds on one another.
Our laundry list of fears – unique to each of us – continues
to grow unendingly. Some of these have been with us for so long, we are barely
cognizant of them, perhaps do not even see them as “fears.” They have become part
of our life, a structural component of our lifestyle, rituals we perform daily.
But are we truly a melting pot of many fears that permeate our life? Or are
these familiar acquaintances simply the emotional children of a few overriding
fears, emerging from an original well that is our more fundamental source?
Ever since human beings emerged on this planet, we have all
begun our lives in the same manner. From our earliest cell form growing into a
fully developed infant, we exist physically connected to an enclosed,
protective environment totally constructed to meet our needs. We are nourished
on demand with no conscious effort on our part. Then, abruptly, we are
delivered into a wholly different environment, the one in which we will spend
the rest of our human life. A life no longer physically attached to its
protective habitat, where little of our needs are met and come to us
automatically.
In that one instant of change, our life is turned upside
down and redefined. In that moment, our three fundamental fears are also
birthed: 1) we are alone, no longer interconnected to our world, a tiny speck
in a Universe vast beyond our comprehension; 2) we are powerless to defend,
much less nourish, ourselves; 3) by accepting the opportunity of life, we
concurrently accept the reality of our death at some unknown moment. At birth,
we are now dependent on the willingness of others for our survival, our cries
for attention the only tool in our arsenal. The scope of our absolute aloneness,
our helplessness, our littleness, our temporariness overwhelms us. The shock of
that recognition is more than we can absorb as an infant. So these fundamental
fears give rise to the litany of simpler, more identifiable fears that grow out
of the seedbed of our subsequent individual life experiences. Fear begets fears
which intensifies fear.
And so we hold strangers at bay until they prove themselves
worthy of our trust. We band together, with people similar to ourselves, in
groups – social clubs, neighborhoods, tribes, cities, nations – believing that
there is “safety in numbers.” We fight with our society in various forms of
competition or control, believing “a good offense is the best defense” to keep
our fears at bay. Or conversely, we build fortresses of conventional lifestyles
within which we hope to go unnoticed and unthreatened. We erect monuments to
our Truths, and marble statues to our Self, intending that “this is who I am”
will be our armor against opposing assaults.
In the end, none of these fear-based strategies truly work
for us. The more we rely on them, the more they wear us down (mentally and
physically), increase our isolation, and reduce our sense of self-sustainability.
That is when we are called to make the real choice – whether our life will be
lived in fear, or whether it will be lived in love. Love that accepts that
which is different; has confidence in providing for ourselves; and recognizes that
the list of genuine fears is indeed quite small. “Common sense” decisions about
reasonable risk replace the paralyzing power of fear.
It is in recognizing from where our daily fears come that
the opportunity arises to defuse them. In that moment, we are no longer alone,
we are no longer powerless, our death is yet one more of our many transitions. In
that moment, our freedom of thought and action arises within. In that moment,
we begin to truly live.
© 2019
Randy Bell https://www.OurSpiritualWay.blogspot.com
