Spirituality Is Hard

On February 20, 1962, 50 years ago, John Glen blasted off into America’s first orbital space flight.  Only seven months later, John Kennedy spoke at Rice University and committed the country to landing a man on the moon and safely bringing him home “by the end of the decade.”  It was a heady statement given such limited success and proof-of-concept to date.  Why take the risk and go?  Obviously this was yet another battlefield in the running cold war with the Soviet Union.  But as Kennedy famously went on to say, “We choose to go to the moon … not because [it] is easy, but because [it] is hard.  Because this goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone.”  Doing the hard thing demands of us to focus our energies, explore the real depths of our creativity; it moves us from dreamer to doer, from “wanna be” to “being.”

Living spiritually should be easy.  Spirituality is knowing that we are, at our core, a good human being.  That we live responsible to and interdependent with other forms of life.  That we should live as a positive impact on ourselves and others.  That we live within a source, a presence, an energy greater than just our self, a form of being that exerts some level of influence in how our life unfolds.  That we are the object and outcome of a creation, and we have likewise within us a creative capability.  That in some manner or another, our life will transcend, if not extend, the life we are experiencing at the moment.

Given all of these positive affirmatives, it would seem that living spiritually should be easy, natural, and consistently rewarded.  But it is not easy.  It can, in fact, take all the energy we can muster.  External adversity comes our way.  Others in our interconnected web do not live spiritually in their interactions with us.  Living spiritually requires constantly making choices among options about what to do, what actions to take, what to conclude.  But there is seemingly little time left in the day for such reflection and judgment.  The thoughts we do have seem filled more with old concerns, rehashed memories, and disturbing feelings than with calm clarity of thinking.

Most of the time it is easier to just drift along, spontaneously reacting to what comes at us than expending effort truly thinking about what we should be doing.  It seems easier to just do “something” quickly, check it off the list, and move on to the next demand-of-the-day than to stop and figure out the best right thing to do.  It is easier to be content with where we are than to challenge ourselves to shed old beliefs in order to incorporate new learning.  It is easier to believe we are right than to assume there is something more for us to learn – about ourselves and others.  It is easier to stand pat than to challenge ourselves to reach for the stars.

The actor Martin Sheen has been an engaged activist for social justice all his life.  When asked how he manages to stay committed to “the cause,” he replied, “You fight for social justice not to change the world.  Not even to change your family and your friends.  You do it from inside of you.  Because you cannot not do it.”  So it is with living spiritually.  There is always not enough time, not enough energy, not enough …  But at some point in your life, you simply do it anyway.  Without excuses.  It becomes your true priority.  All else drops to second position.  You do what is hard, because you cannot not do it.

In Pursuit Of Perfection

“Perfection is not attainable.  But if we chase perfection we can get excellence.”  (Vince Lombardi, legendary NFL coach.)

Perfection, like most things in life, can be a double-edged sword.  Our pursuit of perfection can help to stimulate our energies and focus our concentration so as to move beyond mediocrity, beyond just getting by, and help us to extract the full measure of possibility available within a task.  Yet when we put an expectation on us of achieving perfection we can be demoralized when that perfection is not achieved, and be blinded to the good we have nevertheless done.  Where do we set that bar of perfection, and where do we position ourselves towards that bar?

For the ancient Greeks, perfection was an idealized state, rising above one’s inherent flaws, separate from the reality of how things actually are.  Hence human, animal and inanimate things were portrayed in an unnatural way – how things were imagined should be.  This perspective permeates the thinking of Western humankind in its judgment of “quality.”

On the other hand, for the Buddhist perfection is a state of absolute reality.  Things are inherently perfect just as they are, as they were created, with no need to add to them or make them something else that they are not.  We need only to understand what things truly are versus their distortions that we see.  For the Greek, symmetry – rarely found in nature – is all important in design; for the Buddhist, symmetry is a jarring unnaturalness in conflict with nature.  The Greek loves angles; the Buddhist loves meandering curves.

For many, God (by whatever name) is the only perfection.  In God all things are correct; from God all things are intentional, without shortcomings.  Yet the danger in believing that God is “perfect” is that we attribute a static-ness to God, that in being perfect God is fixed and unchanging.  Someone once wisecracked that “an expert is someone who thinks there is nothing else to be learned.”  We risk that same trap when we equate perfection with “nothing else to learn,” that perfection is absolute, that God is perfection and unchanging.  Change does not imply that the old was wrong; change simply brings us the next phase and understanding of what can and is intended to be.

I personally believe that God is not perfection in a “fixed” sense of being.  The one constant in the whole of the Universe is that nothing is static; everything is always changing, evolving.  If the Universe is God’s ultimate creation and intention, why would God be separate from this fundamental truth, this basic physical / metaphysical law?  So I believe that God also learns, changes, and grows in wisdom just like the rest of us.  It is just that God starts from a much broader and more knowledgeable starting point of wisdom.  Which is why I am undisturbed by the seeming conflict in the God of Genesis, of the Gospels, and of Revelations.  The distinctions simply reflect God’s own growth over time, of God’s extreme excellence from a pursuit of perfection even now not yet achieved.

Perfection is not a destination or endpoint.  It is not a standard of measure or judgment.  It is an important moving vehicle on which we travel on our human journey, through which we fulfill our possibilities and perhaps inspire the journeys of others.  All is perfect at its creation; all is perfect when it remains true to itself; all is perfect when it moves to the next level, as is intended.

Treat Others, Treat Myself

Treat others as you would treat yourself.  A simple thought.  Treat others in the way you would want them to treat you.  A powerful thought.  How we treat others is the mirror image of the treatment that will come back to us.  (“What goes around comes around.”)  A highly difficult practice.

There are few of us who desire to be treated poorly, without understanding or compassion.  Unless we are in a period of time or state of mind when we are caught up in our own drama, our own self-abuse.  In these difficult times, we can put ourselves into a trap of negativity which feeds on itself and feeds upon our hopelessness, drawing in all that we futilely protest that we do not want.  So in its own deceptive way, we still choose to treat others in such a way that they will give back to us the negativity that we in fact are wanting in that moment.

But that kind of negativity is not how we are to live our lives.  It is not the environment in which we can emotionally thrive, mature, create, and reach peace and fulfillment.  But as with all things, we have to create the environment for ourselves that we truly desire.  If everything moves in a circle – which it does – we need to send out that which we wish to receive back.  The headlights coming toward us are the other end of the taillights we sent out ahead of us.

It is simply the Golden Rule.  It applies to our close individuals, the casual acquaintances we encounter, the societies and nations which need to coexist.  One presidential candidate proposed the Golden Rule as a new basis of U.S. foreign policy:  “treat other nations as we would like them to treat us.”  It inexplicably brought boos from a debate audience filled with people who would otherwise no doubt describe themselves as “a religious person.”

In virtually all religions the Golden Rule shows up in one form or another.  In his book Toward a True Kinship of Faiths, the Dalai Lama tells of receiving a printed card at an interfaith gathering, on which was written:
·       Hinduism: “This is the sum of duty; do naught onto others what you would not have them do unto you.” (Mahabharata 5:1517)
·       Judaism: “What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellowman.  This is the entire law; all the rest is commentary.”  (Hillel, in the Talmud for the Sabbath 31a)
·       Zoroastrianism: “That nature alone is good which refrains from doing to another whatsoever is not good for itself.”   (Dadisten-I-dinik 94:5)
·       Buddhism: “Since others too care for their own selves, those who care for themselves should not hurt others.”   (Udanavarga 5:20)
·       Jainism: “A man should wander about treating all creatures as he himself would be treated.”   (Sutrakritanga 1.11:33)
·       Daoism: “Regard your neighbor’s gain as your gain, and your neighbor’s loss as your own loss.”   (Tai-shang kan-ying P’ien)
·       Confucianism: “Do not do to others what you would not like yourself.  Then there will be no resentment against you, either in the family or in the state.”   (Analects 12:2)
·       Christianity: “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”   (Matthew 7:12)
·       Islam: “No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself.”   (Hadith of al-Nawawi 13)

The Jewish Torah/Old Testament gives us Ten Commandments for ethical and spiritual living.  Similarly, it would worthwhile for each of us to identify the ten specific ways we would like others to treat us.  It is not necessarily an easy list to write.  But our ten ways also tell us ten specific ways we should treat others.  Ten criteria to reflect on before we make decisions or take actions involving others.  I have my list.  What items are on yours?

Seven Virtues of a Spiritual Life - Wisdom

There are, I believe, seven core virtues that we see in those who live a truly spiritual life: Patience, Lovingkindness, Forgiveness, Humility, Commitment, Trust, and Wisdom.

The truly Spiritual Person is not defined by the clothes and accessories she may wear.  She is not proven by her quoting of spiritual texts.  The Spiritual Person is not qualified by the certificates on her wall or the number of workshop receipts in her desk drawer.  The truly Spiritual Person may look very different from others or live in a special enclosure; or she may look like everyone else, undistinguishable in appearance, living among us out of the spiritual spotlight.

Yet when we encounter a Spiritual Person, we somehow just know that we are in a special presence.  We sense in that person all of those spiritual virtues discussed previously - Patience, Lovingkindness, Forgiveness, Humility, Commitment, and Trust.  But we sense them not as separate distinguishable qualities, but as somehow all blended together into a larger whole.  Each virtue interacts and melds with each other, informing and shaping and expanding, smoothing the edges and sharpening the content.  All so effortlessly, naturally, without effort, without pretense.  They are “just there” because they are all fully genuine.

In their sum, yet another virute emerges – Wisdom.  The Spiritual Person knows that ultimately it is in Wisdom that we most closely approach our godliness, and it is Wisdom that we are here on earth to develop.  Wisdom is not a “smart.”  It is a knowing derived from thoughts, moving to action, generating reflection, interpreting to learning, repeated in a continuous cycle in every moment.  Learning feeds the Seven Virtues of the Spiritual Person; the Seven Virtues nurture and give life to the Spiritual Person.

The Wisdom of the Spiritual Person is shared, not held jealously within.  This Wisdom is not loud, not pushed out to where it is not welcomed, not overbearing.  It is given when asked, a gift given freely and lovingly, selective to be exactly right for only this person in that particular moment.  Once given, it is turned loose, left to flower or wither in the recipient’s own spiritual soil as appropriate.

In the Spiritual Person, Wisdom is easily recognizable.  It speaks from a depth and breadth of experience and understanding; it is not shallow, superficial, cursory or flippant.  This Wisdom is consistent, oblivious to current time and fashionable circumstances, yet always thoughtfully growing, never completed.  This Wisdom is always mindful of its consequences and impact, spoken fully in this moment but drawn from a lifetime of continual learning.  This Wisdom is at the core of the truly Spiritual Person.

The Spiritual Person is potentially each of us.  We have only to listen to our Wisdom and let it grow in every moment, intertwined with all of the other Virtues.  We let these Virtues grow until they envelop our every thought, our every word, our every action, in every circumstance, inclusive towards all people.

Seven Virtues Of A Spiritual Life - Trust

There are, I believe, seven core virtues that we see in those who live a truly spiritual life: Patience, Lovingkindness, Forgiveness, Humility, Commitment, Trust, and Wisdom.

Trust is a quality we apply to a variety of objects: people, including close family/friends, casual acquaintances, and unknown faces that nevertheless still impact our lives; institutions with whom we engage, some of our own choosing and some not; our near and tangible environment within which we live; and a more distant, intangible spirit which envelops all that enters our life.  Many of us can recite a substantial list of people and instances where we believe our trust was betrayed, our expectations of people or events were not met, perhaps resulting in our perspectives about life and how we would live it being significantly altered.

For the Spiritual Person, such a list of the “untrustworthy” is likely quite short.  For the Spiritual Person has learned that untrustworthiness is not really a measure of others; rather, it is a statement of the perspective we have of the people and things that surround us.  For the Spiritual Person, Trust is not about whether people have lived up to our expectations of them; it is about why we chose to put that expectation on them in the first place.

People are who they are; institutions are what they are; nature is what nature is; God is what Spirit is.  Yet we spend much time and effort seeing these objects as we would like them to be, not as they are.  We put undue trust in things without taking the time to understand the nature of what these things truly are, and therefore whether our expectations (trust) have been properly placed.  People are normally not untrustworthy.  In fact they rarely act outside of their true character.  It is we who did not have correct insight to understand what that character truly was so that we could put appropriate expectations upon them; to understand and trust that they will act exactly as they are conditioned to act, from their own sense of self, not the sense of our self.

So we build homes on island beaches, ignoring the reality of nature’s hurricanes.  We blindly put our trust in corporations who act out of their own profit interest instead of our service needs, or in church leaders who molest children or embezzle donations.  We tell secrets to a known gossip, or try to change a spouse to fit our needs.  We expect God to provide us with a right life, and then continually put ourselves in harm’s way, risky ventures, or destructive actions.  And then we deem people, institutions and God as untrustworthy for not delivering a life that they never promised, for not meeting our expectations that they did not agree to.

We create our expectations.  When we take the time to genuinely walk in another’s shoes, to understand that being or thing fully from the inside, then our Trust can be properly placed.  For the Spiritual Person, Trust is anchored in Truth, not fantasies.  This is not a cynical Truth, but a demand upon us to take responsibility for our expectations of others.  Only when our Trust is well-founded can we live positive lives that can embrace without fear all the things that come to us, rather than shutting down, withdrawing, or being stuck in our angers from our disappointments.  Through Trust, the Spiritual Person does not live in phobic anxiety about all the presumed dangers waiting to befall, but lives confidently and openly knowing that all that comes to us is right in that moment – a rightness perhaps not apparent except in retrospect.

As with most all things for the Spiritual Person, Trust begins and focuses inside.  Trust is not a tool to control, manage or rate others.  Trust is a tool for enlightening ourselves, always grounded in the Truth of all things.

Seven Virtues of a Spiritual Life - Commitment

There are, I believe, seven core virtues that we see in those who live a truly spiritual life: Patience, Lovingkindness, Forgiveness, Humility, Commitment, Trust, and Wisdom.

Commitment is not about being visible to others once a week in church, synagogue or mosque, though such attendance can be spiritually informative.  It is not about the rote recitation of memorized phrases learned over time, though such recitations can spiritually reinforce us.  It is not about speaking prayers at mealtimes or bedtime, though such dialogs can enable us to speak the thoughts or concerns that we have in our hearts.  It is not about sitting in quiet meditation, though such reflection can strengthen our focus and understandings of ourselves and the world within which we live.  It is not about the jewelry or the artifacts on our bookshelves or altars, though these can serve to continually remind us throughout the day as to where we need to shift our attention.

The Spiritual Person likely performs or evidences many of these things as well as others.  But she understands that while these things can be helpful tools in her spiritual life, they do not in and of themselves create or evidence a true spiritual life.  Nor do formal robes, college degrees, official titles or religious standings – which often interfere with living a true spiritual life.

For the Spiritual Person, it is the ongoing commitment to living spiritually that is of true importance.  It is simply the commitment to live each day, and each hour of that day, spiritually first and secularly second.  To follow where heart and soul lead, with the courage and determination to make the often difficult spiritual journey.  To not be pulled astray and blinded by the demands, peer pressures, momentary attractions and egotistical drives of our secular life.  It is continuously remembering and living what is truly important in human life.

Life is both a spiritual and secular existence; one does not preclude the other.  Secular success can be a viable and acceptable part of one’s life, but only when it is achieved secondarily to and within our spiritual framework.  Whatever opportunities and resultant successes and rewards may come to the Spiritual Person, he remembers his values first, his overriding commitment above all to fulfilling his understandings of his God.  We were once told to “Give unto Caesar (the secular world) what is Caesar’s, and give unto God what is God’s.”  I would only add to that wisdom, “And give to God first.”

Commitment does not require one to withdraw from the secular world, to live only in a spiritual cloister.  Rather, the commitment within the Spiritual Person is to simply live true to herself, start each thought from a spiritual foundation, and ensure that each action thereby reflects her truest belief.  If conflicts arise, the secular needs always give way to spiritual consistency.  For it is in the consistency of the Spiritual Person that we see commitment fulfilled, rather than spirituality exercised only when easy or convenient.  For the Spiritual Person, the spiritual and secular life are one, both designed and lived so as to support each other; therefore conflict between the two does not arise.

When all things in life are understood to be divine, the commitment to live in a spiritual way, all and every day, becomes surprisingly easier.  The Spiritual Person commits to just doing what is right.  All of the time.

Seven Virtues of Spiritual Life - Humility

There are, I believe, seven core virtues that we see in those who live a truly spiritual life: Patience, Lovingkindness, Forgiveness, Humility, Commitment, Trust, and Wisdom.

Humility is not about being passive, a wus.  It is not about being a doormat.  It is not the false modesty that speaks loudly of taking no credit, all the while silently taking full credit in one’s heart.  It is not about giving in the expectation of subsequently receiving, making payments attached to a string marked “IOU.”  It is not about doing acts of goodness with the intention that goodness will therefore come back to us.

For the Spiritual Person, humility is saying and doing simply for the sake of saying and doing only what needs to be said or done.  There is nothing more attached to the words or the actions beyond what they inherently are.  The Spiritual Person gives advice only because advice is requested; opinions are given without regard or concern whether the advice is ultimately followed or not.  Nor does the Spiritual Person presume that her thoughts are any better than any others’; they are simply perspectives at this moment in time from one’s cumulative experience.  The Spiritual Person knows that her experiences, and therefore her perspective, will continually change, so one’s truth is open to change and is not necessarily better than others.  If perspective is not asked for, the Spiritual Person is comfortable in her silence.

The Spiritual Person acts when action is called for, but he knows that not all situations call for engagement.  Some things are best left to others; the Spiritual Person does not need to be in the center of the attention.  When he is truly secure within himself, he does not have to be in the spotlight.  He is content in the back of the room, going about the business to be done, accomplishing by encouraging the work of others.

Yet when the occasion demands, the Spiritual Person willingly steps to the forefront.  Humility does not preclude action, but only ensures that our actions are honest to their intentions, not to our glory.  When action brings great achievement or public notice, the Spiritual Person accepts her role in these results.  Yet she knows that she was only a part of the cause, that the light of fame is a very short-lived candle.  So her values and directions are unswayed by such acclaim, nor are they an intoxicant for more such applause.

The Spiritual Person always remembers that he is an interconnected being who accomplishes nothing on his own.  Even when one is the hub of movement, the wheel does not turn without the axle, spokes and rim turning together.  One gets to the front of the line only by the help of all those standing in that line.  There are many along life’s way who give us assistance, inspiration, teachings, working partnerships, and other contributions to the mutual product created.

Humility is simply remembering all those who made possible what we are, while never forgetting who we truly are.  A unique being, yes, but one who finds accomplishment due to circumstances, the gifts of others, a little luck, and divine grace.

As the Taoist says, “This is the way of heaven: do your work, then quietly step back.”